taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you inspire me to be a worse person
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
