That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
