I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she peed on how many people?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
