I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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