Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
