She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Quick, to the slutcave!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
