she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
