They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize
