I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
