I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
