come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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