i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
