I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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