I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
