very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
