I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
