I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
