i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
