y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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