Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
