help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
well you can't waste a boner
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
