What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
