Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
