Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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