Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
