so that wasnt chicken after all
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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