i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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