I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize