also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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