So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
