My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
