How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
