How's work?
Spinning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
