I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
