community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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