I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize