so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
