dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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