you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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