Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
