Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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