I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
