I forgot how hot balto sounded
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
