i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
