six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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