Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
