i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
