Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My ass is underappreciated
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
