So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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