You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
