When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
