You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
