you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're too hungover to prance.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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