I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
