I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
