Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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