i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
