We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
