he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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