Only a mothe r could love this liver
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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