We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize