i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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