if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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