areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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