When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
