I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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