I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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